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There are some points in life where you have to simply put one foot in front of the other and firmly tell yourself to just keep moving forward.
***
About a year ago, one of my best friends came to me with an opportunity. To leave my somewhat comfy, yet greatly underpaid job with the alcoholics and move into a creative position at a micro-agency. This would allow me the ability to move out of the Randolph Crack Haus, and get me closer to my friends, which would let me be a little social again. A winning situation all the way around, really.
I had the "It's not you, it's me," conversation with my boss, gave them three weeks, and took the job with Illustrator.
All change is scary, but that was a happy, hopeful scary.
I remember us walking into work and she and I wondering when the vacation together was going to end. It was awesome. And given the chance, Illustrator is someone I could work comortably with for a very long time.
Over the period of the next few months, things began to shift in our office environment. I tried to grow out of the "I'm new here" feeling but never quite did. I always felt one step behind the BossMan, but tried anyway.
About a month ago, it came to a head when the BossMan Lost His Shit©, in a somewhat spectacular and tragic fashion, at me, in front of the entire office, over an issue that was not warrented. It doesn't matter if I had fucked up, the tirade was unprofessional and uncalled for. This happened on a friday.
Monday morning came, and Illustrator had her words with the BossMan, as did I. And what came of it was that I was giving him a month, (a month too long by some people's estimates,) and I was leaveing.
This was a very difficult decision for me to come to. On one hand, I had put up with something no one should have to experiance - the frustration and humiliation in front on one's peers and friends because of soemone 's lack o control.
But on the other hand, I was leaving a contract (verbal or not) one month early, I was letting down the expectations of a friend, and I was packing in a job that paid me pretty well without anywhere to go.
***
So this morning, I do not leave with the hopeful scary uncertainty of tomorrow. I leave with some regret, a great deal of dissappointment, and the flickering hope that I will be able to find work at some point this summer. I have a few leads, and the will to make things happen, even if I don't like my options, so we shall see.
I'm taking a few weeks off, at the least. One to get my head back on, one to go visit Rohan. If nothing pops up by my birthday, I'm going to temp for a while, take on some odd jobs, and drive the Van 'o Books back to the Summer Grounds in West Pennsylvania for a few weeks in August.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
- k.
***
About a year ago, one of my best friends came to me with an opportunity. To leave my somewhat comfy, yet greatly underpaid job with the alcoholics and move into a creative position at a micro-agency. This would allow me the ability to move out of the Randolph Crack Haus, and get me closer to my friends, which would let me be a little social again. A winning situation all the way around, really.
I had the "It's not you, it's me," conversation with my boss, gave them three weeks, and took the job with Illustrator.
All change is scary, but that was a happy, hopeful scary.
I remember us walking into work and she and I wondering when the vacation together was going to end. It was awesome. And given the chance, Illustrator is someone I could work comortably with for a very long time.
Over the period of the next few months, things began to shift in our office environment. I tried to grow out of the "I'm new here" feeling but never quite did. I always felt one step behind the BossMan, but tried anyway.
About a month ago, it came to a head when the BossMan Lost His Shit©, in a somewhat spectacular and tragic fashion, at me, in front of the entire office, over an issue that was not warrented. It doesn't matter if I had fucked up, the tirade was unprofessional and uncalled for. This happened on a friday.
Monday morning came, and Illustrator had her words with the BossMan, as did I. And what came of it was that I was giving him a month, (a month too long by some people's estimates,) and I was leaveing.
This was a very difficult decision for me to come to. On one hand, I had put up with something no one should have to experiance - the frustration and humiliation in front on one's peers and friends because of soemone 's lack o control.
But on the other hand, I was leaving a contract (verbal or not) one month early, I was letting down the expectations of a friend, and I was packing in a job that paid me pretty well without anywhere to go.
***
So this morning, I do not leave with the hopeful scary uncertainty of tomorrow. I leave with some regret, a great deal of dissappointment, and the flickering hope that I will be able to find work at some point this summer. I have a few leads, and the will to make things happen, even if I don't like my options, so we shall see.
I'm taking a few weeks off, at the least. One to get my head back on, one to go visit Rohan. If nothing pops up by my birthday, I'm going to temp for a while, take on some odd jobs, and drive the Van 'o Books back to the Summer Grounds in West Pennsylvania for a few weeks in August.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
- k.
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-28 02:44 pm (UTC)From:You will do wonderfully in your next task I can feel it!
:)
Date: 2006-04-28 07:20 pm (UTC)From:Old fart that I am, I remember back before when I had no bookstore or job. Was living in Colorado. My friends didn't either. We pooled our money and went on some wonderful adventures that I remember to this day....miss those days. Don't miss being broke all the time but miss the freedom to explore plus folks to explore with.
You missed last year at Penssic and life is too damn short. Your doctor recommends 2 weeks at Pennsic for your mental health...always listen to your doctor!
Gwyneth
Re: :)
Date: 2006-04-28 07:34 pm (UTC)From:- k.
Re: :)
Date: 2006-04-28 08:58 pm (UTC)From:I am not sure if I can wait til the 22nd tho. Folks are starting to firm up their plans. Alastair wants to know if he can come up with me, but I can't give him an answer til I know I have a driver...yadda yadda..and he is leaving on May 7th or so. I would really prefer OChoda or House Silverwood folks but if none are willing/able, will have to ask the Quintavia/Carolingia list. I really hate badgering folks and try not to, but am worried about me and mine getting out there at the time I want to go out. Course if worse comes to worse, I could go out Friday with Kendrick. Each year I threaten to do so, to avoid this malarkey :) but he always reminds me I make big bucks on the first few days.
Cuz is coming over soon and we are going to play some more with your artwork and my site :)))
Gwyneth
Re: :)
Date: 2006-04-29 12:10 am (UTC)From:Re: :)
Date: 2006-04-29 12:11 am (UTC)From: