kragore | Mr. McWoofyPants: In which I am full of golden love.

I like the outside! The outside is great! It's full of smells and I can run around like an "Edie-it" like mom says. I like running around like an "Edie-it". It's fun! You should try it!
I especially like running around in the snow! It's like, all cold and fluffy and if you plow your face into it, you get it in your nose and it tickles and I sneeze! I like to sneeze! It makes my brains rattle!

But I Hates. Ice.
Ice is not nice. Ice means that mom is going to put things on my feeties. I Hate the feetie-things. They make me feel wierd and flop around and make the other dogs laugh at me. But mom says "it's better than you running around like an "Edie-it" and cutting your pads alltohell."

Whatever that means.

So she wrestled me down and put the evil feetie things on last night before our walk.
I hates the feetie things. Mom siad I'd quickly forget they were there. Easy for her to say, she puts on silly feetie things every day.

So we went and started my "walk" which I should have renamed our "stagger, slip, and slide". It wasn't very far, and it wasn't very fast, and I wanted to Run Run Run! So finally, after much begging, she took me off the leash and let me run! Because it was dark, she never even noticed that I managed to loose a feetie! She was awfully bent out of shape when she figured it out, but I consider it a job well done. 3 more to go!

Quite abruptly, she decided to come visit me down at my level. This concerned me - This is my level, she's usually up there with her head in the clouds. I decided that she must be sat upon. It was the only way to fix things. So while she was being all squirmy and muttering things that I knew shouldn't reach my virgin doggie ears and rubbing her wrist vigorously, i decided to show my concern by sitting on her.
This didn't illicit the expected "Awe, belly rubs!" response I was looking for. In fact, there was only more squirming and louder muttering, and then I was quite rudely shoved away. I stood, stoically, and watched as my silly human righted herself only to come visit me again.

The mutterings got louder, and more heavily laced with a very creative string of bad words.

Stupid human should have just let me sit on her. Do they ever listen? *sigh*

Anyway, my Human is fine, and I've sucessfully lost a feetie! I'd say it was a good walk. :)

Merry Day of Awesome Smells, everyone!
- Mr. McWoofyPants

*Edit - That'll teach me not to listen to His Royal Goofballness... - K.*