Anger and Guilt

[kragore]

Have been reading Vo1are's posts all day.
Upon first hearing of what happened in Detroit, thoughts raced around in my head like leaves in the wind. This is what ensued:

"Sad that it's happened again."
"Again?! that it's happened at all!"
etc..etc..

And then I wanted to scream and rip out my brain, (that I usually think highly of for it's creativity and imagination,) as certain other thoughts began to enter the mix, and combine with what I guess is termed empathy.What must have gone through that little boy's mind?
"Where's my momma? Why's it so hot? Why can't I get out?"

And then my brain in all it's detailed glory started to filter other variables into the mix, such as:
"Did he have to watch his sister die first? Did he wonder why she stopped breathing? In those last few minutes did he ever stop loving his mother for leaving them there?"

*****
*Drags out a old, cracked, dusty box. Stands trembling with anger on it.*

I read those replies to Vo1are, and I think the big point got lost in all the religious tones. My believes didn't kill them. Your beliefs didn't kill them.
I don't give two rotten rat's asses if your god has bigger balls than mine, (or has balls at all.)

Their mother killed them.

......INNOCENTS......DIED......

And so many things died along with them.

Ever stop to think that maybe that little kid could have grown up to be a firefighter and may have saved your life down the line? Or that that little girl could have been the next greatest music composer?
Sure, he very well could have been the worlds next biggest bio-terrorist. She could have been a drug addict and a whore. But the potential was ripped away from them by the very person who was responsible for giving it to them in the first place.

And I, WE, could do nothing about it.

I have noticed one thing about many of the people that I get along best with. They have a deep and unrelenting need to protect.
And so it is when something like this happens, we are most bothered by it.

There do need to be checks and balances. Humankind is a plague upon this earth. That doesn't mean I have to like how it manifests.

*Clenches jaw against the tear that threatens, gets off the box, and drags it off*


- K.

Comments

The thing that kills me...

[chaointe.livejournal.com]

Last year there were a spate of infant car deaths, but by and large they were as a result of an exhausted, overtired new parent honestly believing that they had dropped little Christy off at the daycare center...the type of thing that causes people to drive away with their coffee and briefcases on the top of their car. Not an excuse, but a REASON.

This case is different in my mind. She did not get a sitter that day. She knew the babies were in the car. She did not open a window even a crack - if she had, perhaps a passerby would have heard their cries. She relaxed and spent 3 hours getting her hair done, chatting with friends, reading magazines. Then, when she found the results of her selfishness, she drove around for HOURS trying to think up some story, some reason to explain why she did what she did. She came up with "I was kidnapped and raped", thereby insulting and degrading the experience of every person who has ever been snatched away, ever been raped.

The worst part is, an EMT co-worker of mine told me this: hypothermia, dying of cold, eventually results in the shutdown of the nervous system - the old story of simply "falling asleep, not cold anymore". HYPERthermia, dying of heat, means that the nervous system is awake and kicking until the last moment. As vo1are said, the 3-year-old got his sister out of her seat, and they pressed their faces against the window...kisses on the glass. That was amazingly smart and brave for 3 years old. Who knows what he might have become...

Ugh.

I hate people sometimes.