Class (Caste?) Devide

[kragore]

My little brother applied to many, many colleges, of all varieties. He was accepted to most, particularly Lake Champlain. His best friend also applied to many schools, but only private catholic colleges, as he's only ever attended catholic schools.

The "Idea" (as only highschool seniors can hatch,) was for Little Brother to go to Champlain, and Friend to go to St. Mike's. They'd be in the same city, it would be cool. They could hang out as college students too. Awesome.


Then they got their financial aid packages.


***

Niether one of our families are wealthy, nor are they dirt poor. They scrape by, save a little, pull their weight. Little Brother and Friend are really good students, high grades, very involved in afterschool activities. No drinking, no drugs.

The "Aid" packages they were sent were laughable.

There is no way that these two boys will ever be able to dream of affording to attend the schools they wanted to. Little Brother will wind up at dear old FSC, resentful that a beautiful carrot was dangled in front of him, only to have the harsh reality of money, and our great lack thereof, snach it away.
Friend will be lucky to go to school at all, considering he put all his faith in the faith he's supported all his life, and it too failed him. He had no "back-up" schools.

***

My mother calls me, upset. "I did it all right," she says. "I even paid someone to fill out the paperwork this year so he'd have the best shot out of all you kids. I paid someone not to screw it up like I was afraid I would, but they screwed it up, three times, they even spelled his name wrong, and we can't send him where he wants to go... We just can't afford it... "

This stings a little. They paid the initial cost of my first semester of school, and since then, I've picked up the tab. All of it. Me. They never considered tapping into their meager retirement funds for me. I bite back a snide response, because she is my mother, and she is sad, and he is my brother, and in the end, if I could afford it, I'd send him where he wants to go.

***

One more graduating class, and the devide drifts a little further apart. The chasm between the haves and have-just-a-little-more-than-nothings gets a little bit darker, and a little bit wider. Two boys who worked hard, told that if they did good and kept their noses clean, and that they could go anywhere and do anything, were just battered by the concept that they could have slacked, done medicocre, had a good time, taken easier classes, and still gotten the same results.

It's a sad lesson, that you cant do good, be good, aspire to do great things, and realize that there is no reward at the end of the line, just a consolation prize.
I'm sad that a part of Little Brother's innocence died yesterday.

- k.

Comments

ouch

[girliegoalie.livejournal.com]

I won't go into my tale of bitter college stuff that ultimately got me a GED. I'll just share some of what I know now:

Have they tried to apply to private scholarships? Also the earlier they apply the more financial aid they get, if the applied for it at last possible date it may be why the package is laughable, if they keep their grades up it wouldn't hurt to apply again the next year early and see if they get a better package.

Re: ouch

[kragore.livejournal.com]

That's a factor in the bitter - Mom has done the paperwork for *years* and the one year she paid a professional to to it (becasue she thought they'd to it better, or have, you know, professional insight,) they dragged their feet, got the paperwork in late, and screwed up the forms three times.

They've applied for many private scholorships - the problem is, out in their neck of the woods, the best you can hope for is a $500 check and a pat on the shoulder.

I can only listen and try to be supportive. Thanks for the ideas, though!
- k.

Re: ouch

[redfishie.livejournal.com]

my parents did the call the financial aide office and tell them of their plight route. They also compared and contrasted offers...aka they bargained. it helped some.

Re: ouch

[kragore.livejournal.com]

Yep - The barganing has begun... but there's a very *ehh* additude about it.
The additude has been very "oh well, that'll just open another slot for someone who *can* pay us."

It's just frustrating, that's all...
- k.

[garou43.livejournal.com]

That sucks a lot. Here's to hoping somebody hits the lottery so he can go where he wants...

[kragore.livejournal.com]

It's frustrating from my standpoint, because really, he probably was the brightest out of the three of us, and we thought he'd have the best shot of "going somewhere."

[garou43.livejournal.com]

yeah, I'd be willing to bet he's a bit smarter than your sister, at least. ;)

I know where you're coming from with the 'parents won't help pay for college for me but did for someone else' bit, too. No money for me to go now...

[motomuffin.livejournal.com]

Grants and loans, woman! Grants and loans! SallieMae'll give anybody money! Then they can worry about paying them back after they graduate. :P

[kragore.livejournal.com]

You miss my point. What it comes down to is the lack of affordable education for those who can't afford to pay for school outright, but aren't poor enough to attempt to get a free ride.

And by affordable, I do not mean taking out stupid amounts in loans that you can never hope to be able to pay off.

Just because they'll give it to you doesn't make it a good idea.

[motomuffin.livejournal.com]

Right. But that's the way it is.

So he can go to his dream school, applying for scholarships and grants out the ying-yang (he doesn't need to be local to anything in particular to apply for many, many scholarships), using student loans to cover the rest and come out the other side with debt but a great education and a degree.

OR

He can go to a reasonably-priced school and apply for the same grants and scholarships and fill in the rest with student loans and come out the other side with an OK education and a degree but not quite so much debt.

OR

He can get trade certified and make probably just as much money as any college graduate wiring or plumbing people's houses.

OR

He can complain about how unfair life is and flip burgers for a living.

He's at a crossroads. Here are the rules, here's how everything works; make lemonade. :)

[kragore.livejournal.com]

Indeed, these are all options.

But the rules to this game suck, and they are only getting worse.
I can't imagine how stratified things will be by the time our children are faced with such a decision.

[safirasilv.livejournal.com]

That sucks.I feel bad for your brother and if anything, worse for the kid whose faith in Catholic institutions let him down. (He should apply to FSC pronto; I'm sure he could get in for the spring semester if not for fall.)

I know my alma mater still gets huge sums from its alums, but I wonder if the kid I was when I was applying to college (about the time of Kragore's birth, for those who don't know me!)--the smart, hard-working kid of a divorced small-town schoolteacher--would still be given the opportunity to go there. I rather think not, which makes me wonder: Where does the money GO?

[orionsmom.livejournal.com]

SUCK SUCK SUCK!!!

And now, the bright side.

You get out of a college what you put into it.
I firmly believe this.

You can go to crap-ville university and walk out if it with a fantastic education, if you work for and want it. You can get somewhere if you work for it.

Oh and totally ditto on Motomuffin. Check out those grants/loans etc.
If something is shiney and beautiful, it is never easy to acquire.

:(

[medievalbooks.livejournal.com]

Sorry for your brother....

But it has always been thus.

Me, eldest of 6 kids. Similar thing. Filled out financial aid package - Dad made too much money - so no help. Three kids in college at the same time. My grades weren't spectacular and they couldn't afford to send me to last year of college. So I withdrew and over the next few years took a course or two at a time so I could fill out my degree requirement. While I understood why, it still broke my heart. But a family has to do what a family has to do. And all in all, it didn't do me any harm in the long run.

Kendrick - got a loan for an Associates degree and a scholarship. His family could not afford college for he and his sister. His sister never went to college even for an Asoociates. While he is somewhat envious of the kids who were able to go to college, he certainly wasn't harmed by it either.

Life isn't fair..never was supposed to be. Little Brother would have had to learn that someday. I still remember crying on the floor when I was told I could no longer go to college, there was no money.

But you are wrong on the rest of it. Doing good, being good is a reward in and of itself. A very trite saying but oh so true, where one door closes, another one opens. He just has to have the wit to open it.

medievalbooks