Stupid connection

So I wrote an entry after getting home last night, but stupid machine here won't go, so here it is, 8 hours later.

"Went to a very productive meeting this evening. It was good; if nothing else, I had time to talk to a good friend of mine I had been concerned about of late. And all is... better. Not good, but better.
Yay, empathy. Sometimes it comes in handy, and doesn't come with the side effect of wanting me to spoon my brain out and serve it with tea.
Tomorrow is thursday. I go shooting tomorrow. Yay. This makes Kragores happy.
Kragore is, on the other hand, very, very tired. And rather lonely in that metaphysical kinda sense. I think 'gypsy summed it up pretty good, but Kragore's aren't really built for fun. We're much better at workaholcism and burning out.

Big shock, AIM just went down on me again. Stupid connection. Stupid college.

Going to go out and buy a gross of earplugs for this %$@^ing school. They doen't supply the students with ear protection. Morons. Maybe I can get them through Daluth...

Went to look at more wood today, after another rouseing class of Kragore standing around and looking helpless. I gained a little respect in some of the guy's eyes, though, after the saw-wrestling incident, and after giving them a disertation on how, no shit, I can change my own oil.
I think I'm going to go with the birch for the box. I have one more person I want to talk to first, though.

Announced to work today to "Put a fork in me, I'm done," before giggleing off madly to my corner.

Off to bed,
- K."

Twichy

So I figured it out, or at least a great deal of it.
My job has become work. I used to be able to create via my work, fufilling some basic need in me, but since it is now work, and no more fun, I took Wood Fabrication to fufill this basic 'create' need.
This is probably why, over the last few years, as my job has slid slowly into work, I'll start talking about making something, but it never pans out because lifestyle, work, money, and time get in the way. All this aspects do not change the fact that the creative urge has no outlet.
This leads to a quiet sort of frustration, because it has grown to the point where I didn't know I was angry about this.
The other problem is usually my creating needs are very specific. What I create has to be useful, not just pretty, but pretty is great if it functions. And it usually has to encorporate the potential of being benificial for other too, not just myself. (Though there are a few specific "me" projects floating around my brain.)
Cooking is great for this. I'm not a terrific cook, I don't mind cooking, but I abhore cooking for one. It's not useful.
And so I work more to try to relieve the anxiety of not being useful. It's not very satisfing, and is counter-productive, because then I have less time to devote to things I actually want to do.

Go, self-analyzation, or something.

My brain hurts for it being so early.

Should contact the Catherd's and let them know I'll be down very late on Friday...

- K.

A productive day

Got quite a few responses from the various parties I asked to be references for me. Woot. Even started compiling them.
Went to Advanced Lighting and was shamelessly flirted with by TechieBoy. I was amused.
Went to Pre-press. Lived. Go team.
Went to The Woodery. Nice guys, nice selection of wood. Thinking about getting the bastard cousin to Teak(?). (The expensive stuff comes from South America, this stuff comes from Malasia.) I really like the idea of Birch though...
Went shooting. Shot like shit. Found a new anchor point though, so now I'm getting my flights higher, rather than burying them early. Worked on not pinching my arrows.
Played with a 2D turkey target for fun. Kept it for later use. I was just tired of circles. I talked to the guy who's always at the range about 3D shoots, which are, in his opinion, "just about the most fun thing ever." Evidently they give you a course with 30 targets spread out over 2 miles, you walk to them, loose one arrow, repeat until #15, have a burger, walk to the next target, shoot, repeat until done.
Could be an amusing way to spend a saturday. Like I have extras.

Tomorrow is laundry day. I will officially be down to my last t- shirt. Not a good sign.
It is also "run around manically to get everything done" day.
*sigh*
But at least tomorrow brings the promise of money. Yay, Friday.

-K.