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Well, that was new...
Nov. 16th, 2003 06:58 pmAn experiance I had this morning that I do not reccomend: Being ripped out of sleep by an axiety attack.
Had a good weekend, really, save for this pall of tension hanging over me about the FCA calendar fiasco. Would drive me to drink if I didn't already...
Saturday I went to see DarthGM's play... very good, really. Made me miss teching something fierce. Not the teching, per sae, though I do miss that, but the comradere of building something and then distroying it with the same group of people. Saw some of the theater people I worked with last year... asked me how I was doing, and I had to answer them honestly... I'd love to still be in the protected environs of academia, sans all the red-tape bullshit... Yes, I do remember very clearly just how insane the place was making me near the end...
The play was very good - very provocitive. Went back to the PP afterward and watched American Chopper and Monster Garage with Veros and an unconcious Garou... Fell over for dead around 1:30, was joined by another warm body around 7, woke up gasping and kicking around 10.
Didn't know what day it was, didn't know where I was was, was just filling with an absolute feeling of having forgotten something important, of not doing something that needed to be done, of being late, being behind, it being my fault, of failure and regret... didn't even recognize the unconcious form next to me for a moment...
Not fun. Not fun at all.
I don't want tomorrow to come. Really don't want to wake up an it to be tomorrow. But the clock ticks, time passes, and the inevidable will occur. I shall keep the sweet memories close and call them to mind in dark hours.
- K.
Had a good weekend, really, save for this pall of tension hanging over me about the FCA calendar fiasco. Would drive me to drink if I didn't already...
Saturday I went to see DarthGM's play... very good, really. Made me miss teching something fierce. Not the teching, per sae, though I do miss that, but the comradere of building something and then distroying it with the same group of people. Saw some of the theater people I worked with last year... asked me how I was doing, and I had to answer them honestly... I'd love to still be in the protected environs of academia, sans all the red-tape bullshit... Yes, I do remember very clearly just how insane the place was making me near the end...
The play was very good - very provocitive. Went back to the PP afterward and watched American Chopper and Monster Garage with Veros and an unconcious Garou... Fell over for dead around 1:30, was joined by another warm body around 7, woke up gasping and kicking around 10.
Didn't know what day it was, didn't know where I was was, was just filling with an absolute feeling of having forgotten something important, of not doing something that needed to be done, of being late, being behind, it being my fault, of failure and regret... didn't even recognize the unconcious form next to me for a moment...
Not fun. Not fun at all.
I don't want tomorrow to come. Really don't want to wake up an it to be tomorrow. But the clock ticks, time passes, and the inevidable will occur. I shall keep the sweet memories close and call them to mind in dark hours.
- K.
