Days and Such

A haiku,
Weekend,
Friday sucked raw ass
Saturday was spend running
Weekend has been weird

So Friday I had to go up to Darthmoth-Hitchcock with mum for tests. Wonderful. Mum never ever gets Demerol as a relaxant any more, ever. Procedure went fine, but her reaction to the drugs kept us there from 2:20 to 9:00 that night. This on top of the 3 hour drive home.
I don't know why I was even there. My aunt was with us, and she wouldn't let me #%$!ing drive. I would have prefered to be left home; at least I wouldn't have felt so bleeding useless/helpless.
And so, I got to bond with my aunt, (who's dieing of stage 4 colon cancer,) all afternoon. (She happens also to be my godmother.) Wonderful. Didn't really want to be talking about picking out plots while My Mother was in on the table.
So Friday pretty much sucked in the familial obligations kinda way.

Saturday, I woke up, and realized I had forgotten to take some meds with me, so I swung through Leominster to pick them up.
Funny, the electric grittle is only out when Cervantes is trying to impress someone. How interesting. Huh, someone else's toothbrush and shampoo have also taken up residence. How very amusing.
Ed. Note: Going to chalk this up to people getting back from vacation, actually. There's doubles of a lot of stuff because they forgot to take it in the first place. House still feels like someone news be in it.(End note.)
Grabbed what I needed and left. Went to the Catherd's for the S&B. Got Thorge's pants and tunic done, (they look snazzy,) and the del made for Nomad, (also looks kinda snazzy.) Hung out, was fed to the bursting point again, and got stuff sewn. Yay.
Woke up this morning, finished sewing, scrutanized the Pennsic camping map, and hung around. It was nice, I enjoyed myself. Discovered my car's antenna got hung up in the tree outside the Mansfield house and snapped. Oh well, I can find a new one online.
Left after 3, got home about 5 to discover a virtual sea of empty beer/rootbeer bottles and a note stateing that no one's going to be home tonight; Thorge is NASCARing, and Cervantes is off...*... visiting people.
Yay.
I have an insatiable desire to go, buy an air rifle, line up the empties on any clean horizontal surface and shoot them off, but I won't.
I won't.
I'll clean it up, because if I don't, it's not like there's anyone else around to do it, crawl back into my room, shut the door, and try like hell to forget where I am...
Or maybe get in the car and drive. But I'm tired of driving. I've done 14 hour of driving in three days, 8 of it in my car. Falcon wants to cry.

- K.

(no subject)

Abandoning the Human Voice

Blood of my blood,
You lay upon the bed
Cold, breathing shallow.

Blood of my blood,
I watch the pulse in your neck
The drip of fluid that races for your arm.

Blood of my blood,
Is this but a preview?
It felt out of order, like a chapter read too soon.

Blood of my blood,
Your pain was intolerable to me
And so every bit of energy, and some I did not, went to you.

I called up debts not paid,
and begged favors from those close to my soul.

Blood of my blood,
You do not hear me abandon my voice to don another
Rising and falling like so many tides.

Those not of the blood,
They supply the energy
They give the strength.

Those not of the blood,
That should be
Not of blood, but of family.

They hear me,
They watch with golden liquid eyes
They know.

-K.

Good for the soul

So someone the other day made a crack about me mimicking a TV wolf howl. It was incorporated in a tag at the end of a show by the corporation that had produced it.
It was far from being a real howl. I don't believe any of my nearest and dearest have ever actually heard me howl. I'm usually alone, as I'm usually looking for an energy release, or I'm lonely. And I'd be lonely because there no one around, so no one hears... you get the picture...
No I've heard some people mimic a howl, and they're ok at it. I had to listen for a long time before I understood what the problem was though. They try to retain their human voice. (Hence the inspiration for my last entry.)
It's not a mimic for me, it's something I do. I've practiced over the years to attain the right pitch, depth, and tone. I'm still not perfect at it, but the one thing that has made me feel good about it is that I abandon any kind of human vocal control. I don't try to voice, or sing it; it just happens. It's my song. It's old and rolls. It feels comforting, like favorite pajamas...

*shrug*

It's somewhat similar to my growl, but many people have heard that... and the growl is not practiced. It popped up one day quite a while ago, and so I've used it. Hungry, Uncomfortable, and Angry all get that treatment at some point or another.

I read somewhere that a wolf howl is a prayer being sent to the maker(s). All's I know is that it works for me.

- K.