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Busy coupla days. Yesterday got certified on the rock-climbing-conveyor belt here at school. So that's something. Today it was walking with MeatHead, talking and stuff. She didn't quite realize how screwed up Big Sister's life was I think, and It may have kinda shocked her. But it happens. She gets to go into the hospital for a bone scan Monday; they can't figure out what's wrong with her beyond loose joints. Like the too loose kind.
Heard from my mum last night. Seems that Dog is showing his age. Nerve damage in his legs, more than a little dementia... poor pooch. He's a good dog, and a long lived one at that. I imaging it's had for my mum to be watching him fail.
Last night I kinda.. well.. snapped again. A certain situation made me feel like I was competing with the recent departed for my boy's attention again, and it pushed me over. I've finally figured it out. I don't like them, because the more I dislike them, the more I hate myself. For not being open-minded enough, for being a hypocrite. For being forced into a position where I have to deny that which I follow, and so I hate myself. Kinda sucks. I have figured out that a) I don't like them and b) I don't trust them. Pretty simple ehh? No, not really.
So it's come to the point where I'm wondering if I should follow the silly online test's advice and talk to someone. But I abhor confrontation, and that's what this feels like to me. First to confront myself, and then to confront someone *I don't know* with my problems. I shouldn't have problems, I'm SuperReponsibleLass. I can't even call home and wipe out on my mum, she's got enough without me worrying her more. But I'm at a bad place. The bad days are being punctuated by the good, not the other way around.
It's a slippery slope I cling to. This is the very situation that led to a recent local social explosion. It would drive me to drink were *I* to be a cause of one of those...
*Side note: F4 Rocked! Got to see Three Amigos on a big screen, see the director and have him answer questions (John Landis) and see my buddy Raoul in his environment. I'm so proud of him! A million Hazoos! Let's make the F4 film festival an annual thing! Woo! :end note.)
Gotta go to bed. was good that I hobb-nobbed with profs. while at post-viewing party.
off to snuggle under fur,
- K.
Heard from my mum last night. Seems that Dog is showing his age. Nerve damage in his legs, more than a little dementia... poor pooch. He's a good dog, and a long lived one at that. I imaging it's had for my mum to be watching him fail.
Last night I kinda.. well.. snapped again. A certain situation made me feel like I was competing with the recent departed for my boy's attention again, and it pushed me over. I've finally figured it out. I don't like them, because the more I dislike them, the more I hate myself. For not being open-minded enough, for being a hypocrite. For being forced into a position where I have to deny that which I follow, and so I hate myself. Kinda sucks. I have figured out that a) I don't like them and b) I don't trust them. Pretty simple ehh? No, not really.
So it's come to the point where I'm wondering if I should follow the silly online test's advice and talk to someone. But I abhor confrontation, and that's what this feels like to me. First to confront myself, and then to confront someone *I don't know* with my problems. I shouldn't have problems, I'm SuperReponsibleLass. I can't even call home and wipe out on my mum, she's got enough without me worrying her more. But I'm at a bad place. The bad days are being punctuated by the good, not the other way around.
It's a slippery slope I cling to. This is the very situation that led to a recent local social explosion. It would drive me to drink were *I* to be a cause of one of those...
*Side note: F4 Rocked! Got to see Three Amigos on a big screen, see the director and have him answer questions (John Landis) and see my buddy Raoul in his environment. I'm so proud of him! A million Hazoos! Let's make the F4 film festival an annual thing! Woo! :end note.)
Gotta go to bed. was good that I hobb-nobbed with profs. while at post-viewing party.
off to snuggle under fur,
- K.
